Texas Toast...

In July, my sister and I had just returned from taking a trip home to West Virginia and Pennsylvania and New York to see our family.
We had driven all over and had a few dollars left after our long trip, and I happened to not be scheduled for work for almost an entire week
due to a mix up in the scheduling world. It was at this time, during a morning service on the Sunday after our return that I really felt a download from God about praying for Texas.

Let me say at this juncture that while we have been blessed greatly as we have been here, and our needs have been amply met, none of us enjoyed being in Texas. Maybe it was the season we were all in, or maybe Texas just isn't "it" for us - I'm not entirely sure.

But whatever the case, I - and I know the other girls too - had a very hard time praying earnestly for this state.I'm not saying it was right or that we were actingaccording to how we should have been (in love at all times...ahem...)but that is the honest truth. Have you ever lived somewhere that just didn't "sit" right with you?

Nonetheless, God doesn't share my emotions and my dislikes and so on, and for that we can all be grateful!I hope I will not offend any reader that may be Texan, but I must speak plainly. One of the hardest things we found to deal with here was the overgrown spirit of PRIDE that sort of parades itself around this state. I love my country and I do believe in supporting your state, by the way.
I almost hesitate to write this, but if I don't you will not get the complete story, and I really want to be honest about how we feel about our experiences.

At any rate, after praying some about how we were to pray - or where, or if we were even supposed to pray - I happened to read an article in the weekly neighborhood magazine that got my attention!

I had come to the conclusion that maybe we weren't supposed to pray in Texas, that God had brought us here for other purpose and was fine with that. But when I read this article, suddenly a fire was lit in my heart and I recognized the Holy Spirit speaking. The article itself was about Washington on the Brazos - a state park about 3-4 hours south of us.

During worship the week before I had asked God to show us the key for Texas, if there was one He wanted to show us...and this is how the article began, "One of the first things you think of when you think of Texas is their pride." I am not kidding! I read on as the article described and boasted of Texas pride and said this what was Texas was known for.
It then stated that for a fun summer side trip, you might consider visiting historic Washington on the Brazos, which was the birthplace of Texas - "where it all began!" There was so much significance to this article I could hardly believe my eyes.

Fast forward to that Sunday in July during worship, where I am feeling so strongly that we MUST go visit this place and pray there. When the pastor gets up to speak his message is,

"We have to be open to the Holy Spirit, because God has places He wants us to visit and prayers for us to pray, divine appointments for us, and we need to be flexible and just go with what he is saying!" Hmmm...

So basically, Teruah and I got home from church, threw some stuff in the car with a tent and our sleeping bags and decided to set out. I am glad the desire to go lasted all that time, because as we were driving to the middle of nowhere and it was getting dark while we tried to find a campsite, I was wondering if I was completely crazy doing this on a whim.
Why were we wandering around out here in the dark again??

We found a tiny Mexican restaurant open after staking out the tent, and split a late dinner that was welcome and DELICIOUS. Then we headed back to our campsite. When we arrived we realized that the night guard had forgotten to tell us that the gate closed at 10pm sharp, and there was no other way in. It looked like we might be hiking back into the campground perhaps a few miles to where we had left our tent. Just then, the man drove up ( he had seen us when he was leaving, and turned around to follow us and let us into the camp. I was so relieved!

After an incredibly humid night in the tent, and trying to sleep on a bumpy piece of ground, we awoke early and set off for the park.

I will not go into minute detail about Washington on the Brazos, but if you wish to read further into our nation's history and how Texas came about, you can visit their site at http://www.birthplaceoftexas.com/ where there is a wealth of information about the formation and development of the state. After going through their museum, I had a new respect for the frontiersmen and women who risked so much to settle the land.
There was also a lot of history regarding our relationship to the Mexicans who owned the land before us. I also learned that Texas, before it was a state, was an independent nation of it's own for a short time and had it's own elected president! It also had it's own declarartion of independence, signed in the small wooden buildng standing on the grounds there.

I came to understand that Texas came about after a series of intense struggles for those who settled here, and perhaps another part of the pride was the fact that they had even survived in the first place.

We had stopped at a small grocery store before we went to the park, and bought a bottle of wine and a bottle of oil and mixed the two in our water bottle so we wouldn't appear too conspicuous.
So after reading a while about the history of the place, we went to the quiet picnic area near the river and sat on a picnic table just waiting to hear from Father God.
We asked Him to forgive us for our bad attitiude in response to the attitude we had seen, and then we prayed wholeheartedly for Texas. we asked God to move in her,to break off the chains of religion and pride that hold her back, and to repair and bring restoration to the broken places and to heal the brokeness caused to the Mexican peoples. We asked that instead of a spirit of lone independence, that a healthy dependence on God would be found.

It was SO interesting as we prayed together quietly, just waiting on Holy Spirit, that I realized that Mexican blood runs through Teruah's veins, while I am a "white girl" from the North eastern states - the states that sent out the pioneers that settled many parts of the US, who consequently, took land from others.

And here we were, best friends, praying together for the healing of this land. We poured the wine and oil out then and asked the Lord to seal our prayers.

God is good. He knows exactly what He is doing! Even when we are just trying to do what we think he is saying, fumbling around in the dark, tripping over tent pegs, waking up scared to death because of raccoons in the trash cans, and wondering if you made it all up in your own head! We are flawed and we have our own predjudices and pride and yet He uses us!

I know God has good things in store for this state. They say everything is BIG in Texas, and so it is - the houses, the stores, the land, and yes, even the attitude! But so is the LOVE and the plans that our amazing Father has for Texas BIG love and BIG plans and purposes...and no one can out-do Him on that! There are amazing men and women of God here who hear His voice and follow after Him with great passion. One such place is Convergence Church in Ft. Worth. We were super blessed to attend services there while living here. The pastors and leadership team there are amazing as well as the congregation.

Another time, Teruah and I met an amazing lady at a Starbucks, a total stranger but a divine connection we ended up talking to for over two hours. She goes wherever the Lord shows her to go that day, and just waits on him, until she finds His appointment for her, whether that is to pray, to speak to someone, etc. She was really amazing. There are many hearts after God in this place.

As a final note, it is interesting to know that the Brazos river is really named Los Brazos de Dios, named so by the Spanish explorers in the 1700's. The name means "The Arms of God" and it is the longest river in Texas, flowing from New Mexico down into the Gulf. It is also the river that has the most output of water in this state. There are many places that God has stamped His name on this state - this is just one of them.

God holds Texas securely in His loving, strong arms.

Still on a Journey...

Ok, so many have asked us over the course of a year if we are still traveling? I will attempt to answer that now...

Q: Are we still traveling?

A: Yes!

I didn't know what to expect when we picked up from Redding, CA and set out. I had no idea what things would look like after our trip through California - if we'd still be traveling together, or where the road would take us. For all I knew we could end up on the other side of the world!

Somewhat to my surprise we landed here in TX. However, neither of us felt that Texas would be "home" and have known pretty much since our arrival that this was to be a "season" in our journey, and not the stopping point.

We began our journey away from Redding to pray over Sacramento, and San Diego and up the coast back to the San Francisco BayArea. God provided amazingly the entire way. We grabbed hold of God's heart for California during that trip, and found out even more so that He has BIG plans for that state!

Our time here in Texas has been no less miraculous than that first trip, although we do not always see it that way, I am sorry to say. God has met us with the same abundant provision and goodness that He has always shown. And though we have been at place of residence rather than living out of a suitcase for a year now, it has still been quite a journey.
On personal levels, we have been through some changes and transitions. Healing is an interesting thing - as is the depth of our hearts. It amazes me that we often do not even know ourselves. But what I have found is that my Father is a master at revealing our hearts. Most of us have passion, and creativity waiting to be unlocked. We all have broken places that need healing. He knows just how to do this. I love this about Him.

There were some things that had really died in my heart due to hurts, or disappointment, or just plain tiredness. When we try to work hard for what is already ours, we tend to burn out! I found that I had been working hard to be useful to God for a while now. And I was coming up short. It was becoming a way for me to gain His acceptance - not merely to serve Him. And acceptance is already mine! One day a few months after our move to Texas, when I was talking to God about some things I heard Him ask me so clearly, "What if I never call you to be in a place of ministry again? Are you ok with that?" I was shocked that He said it to me so plainly - and that I heard Him so clearly. It was a mirror to my own heart and motives. I tried to answer immediately and found that I could not and instead tears came. If I can't be useful, how can I be valuable? The point He was making to me wasn't that He doesn't want me in "ministry" but that if I never stood on any platform to speak, preach, prophesy or lead worship again, or if I never got to feel that affirmed feeling of knowing I helped someone to know God better or to touch Him - that our relationship was what mattered and that it was enough. If I never got to "minister" again - it was enough. As I said, it took me a long while to respond and even then I had to answer "Lord, I want to be ok with that - I want You to be enough." In a moment, He had cut through all of the other distractions and laid my heart before me.

I give you this story as an example of what our time here has meant for us. It has been moments like the one I described above that have made such a difference in our lives since we arrived here. It has been a time of God speaking life into us in many ways. It has been a time apart that was very much needed to clear our hearts and our vision. It has not always been easy or clear what we were here for. It has been lonely at times. But I see that now we are coming out on the other side with renewed dreams and new ideas and a new, fresh courage to go after these things.
So that's a little more about where we have come to, and what God has done...

Next posting - Mine and Teruah's little adventure to the Birthplace of Texas ;-)

Hello world :-) Update on our whereabouts!

Hi all!

Well if you were following mine and Teruah's journey very closely and keeping up with our blog, I must apologize for a year's absence. Neither of us meant to stop writing entirely - but we got rather off track with day to day things. For those of you who are asking, let me catch you up to speed.

In September last year (2009) Teruah and I were offered a great house in Texas to stay in. It would be near a small college and we would have oppurtunity to take classes or pursue whatever course we wished. It was a huge blessing for us at that time, because neither of us had a plan after the Spring/Summer of '09.

Previous to this, we had traveled throughout the Eastern states, visiting friends and mostly my family. In May/June, we returned to California for the summer months. This is where the blog left off - at Teruah's speaking engagement at her parent's church - which I must say was really, really awesome! Good job Teruah and Eva, and thank you Holy Spirit! Many many people were encouraged and God did a lot of very cool stuff in people's hearts that night. It seems crazy that it was a full year ago now!

Anyway, back to where we are: We are in Texas, in the Dallas/Ft. Worth Area. We have been staying in a wonderful place (thanks to a wonderful and generous friend) and Teruah had oppurtunity to take some classes this past Spring. In December, my sister Leah moved in with us after she completed her music ministry school at Christ For the Nations here in Dallas.

Both Teruah and I were offered jobs at Target last November. It was an interesting shift switching from living by faith and God providing every single need to working and getting paychecks. There were good and bad things about it - mostly I felt at first how frustrated I was by not being able to just spend limitless amounts of time soaking in God's presence. But I rather liked getting paid every two weeks, I must say. It wasn't that I have never worked a job before, but rather that I had been in a long season of God providing a certain way, and then we had to shift gears a bit. This keeps things fresh I guess, because I would rather depend on my work to get finances, however in much of my life so far, God has caused me to live in a way where I receive support. This has been a HUGE challenge to me and to my sense of self reliance. Which I am sure is what God is getting at. So we transition. And adjust - and just when we think we have this down, things change!

So now you know where we are, my next update will be more about what we feel is on God's heart for us now, and also what we hope to do in the days ahead...

Love to you each and every one! More to come soon.

Anna